How I Regained My Sanity by Jumping Off the Bridge

An odd title you might think...but for me, a true story...metaphorically.  Last year I had reached a point in my life that was making me crazy...a difficult breakup, an illness, a loss of interest in my career and a changing family dynamic over which I had no influence or control. I decided it was time to make a very big change, so I sold my house,  my furnishings and my car, stored what was left and headed to Europe. It was a decision that changed my life and my outlook. Although it did not go completely according to plan, the experience helped me gain clarity and insight into the kind of life I wanted to live.

The Széchenyi Chain Bridge - Budapest, Hungary

There comes a point in everyone's life...or maybe three or four...when we have come to the precipice and much like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade, we must take a leap of faith if we are to finish our mission or continue on our journey. But fear will sometimes hold us back. We cannot suspend our disbelief that we will not  fail long enough to make the leap and so we stay stuck...in the wrong place, the wrong job, the wrong relationship.

It is far easier to stay in place, than to rock the boat...and safer as well, only someone who risks rocking the boat might fall into the ocean!

So, suppose we want to take that leap, but  our fears are holding us back. What can we do to face our fears and overcome them?

1.  Name your fear. Are you staying in a bad relationship because you are afraid of being alone? Are you not expressing your opinions at work, because you're afraid of being fired. Knowing what it is that you fear is the first step in overcoming that fear.

2. Understand the risks of your fears. Are you afraid of flying because you think the plane will crash? Look up the statistics. You'll find flying is safer than driving a car. Afraid to try a new exercise class because you don't think you'll be able to do it? Observe a class and see that all shapes and sizes of people are participating.

3. Apply the "What's the worst that could happen?" line of thought. We often exaggerate our fears to have catastrophic outcomes, but they rarely do. If you approach a new colleague at work and start a conversation, the worse outcome might be that they snub you. So what! They lost an opportunity to make a new friend. 

4. Imagine yourself overcoming your fear. Positive visualization really does work! Imagine yourself skiing down the trail; you'll be more likely to be successful when you try it.

5. Remember every opportunity to grow requires some risk and the sense of accomplishment you will gain by facing your fears and taking that leap of faith, will serve you well whether or not the outcome is what you hoped it would be.

6. "Failures" are opportunities too! Suppose you've taken the leap and failed...the business you started didn't succeed, the woman you asked out, said no, you didn't pass the course you took this semester. Failures are an inevitable part of life and if you learn from them and see them as positive opportunities for growth, you are more likely to succeed the next time.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Start with small steps, but start! The path to a diverse, exciting life starts with understanding our fears. In no time at all you will be ready to progress from tiny steps to a leap!

Be Well!