Goals, Expectations and Intentions

Goals...for most of our lives we've been told how important clear and measurable goals are to setting out direction in life. But some new research indicates that perhaps we've become so focused on what we will accomplish in the future that we've missed out on living our lives today!

Carl Richards, author of The Behavior Gap, writes that perhaps it is time to give up on formulating long term goals and take an approach which takes into account the kind of life we want to live right now. "Letting go of outcome-based goals can bring us freedom.” Richards has five tips to helping us live more in the now and less in the future.


1. Letting go of expectations. While goals are helpful to keep us focused, turning them into grandiose, unrealized expectations will undoubtedly lead to disappointment.

2. Letting go of outcomes. By concentrating on outcomes, we fail to enjoy the pathway to meeting our goals and become myopic about achievement alone. If we fail to achieve what we set out to do, we only focus on our failure, instead of what we learned, experienced and enjoyed along the way. Focus on your intent instead of the outcome.

3. Letting go of worry. Worrying has never solved a single problem, it merely creates anxiety and frustration. Instead of worrying about a problem, look for ways to solve it, be proactive instead of reactive if it appears a goal will not be met. Failure to meet a goal doesn't mean it must be abandoned, but it probably should be re-evaluated.

4. Letting go of measuring. Humans are competitive and at the same time,  we’re all looking for happiness. But happiness really can't be measured. So we end up measuring other things, like money and possessions, but acquisition rarely brings lasting happiness. So stop taking "inventory" of your happiness and just enjoy it!

5. Letting go of mindless tracking. Just like measuring and comparing yourself to others, keeping endless Excel spread sheets and notes and ledgers to track the progress you are making towards completing a goal can stifle all the enjoyment you will experience while heading towards your intention.Working towards a goal will seldom be linear, there will be peaks, valleys progress and regression. If you're prepared for a curving path you will be less concerned about the inevitable stops and starts along the way.

Richards advises you “don’t want to confuse the process with the goal….Goals can be a great things. We just need to do a better job making sure they don’t turn into expectations that leave us disappointed and unhappy.”

Be Well!