There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. Martin Luther King, Jr.

What do you do when someone you love disappoints you, breaks a promise or lies to you? What if that person is a parent , a child or a sibling? And what if disappointment has become  more than norm than the exception?

On the  website, Studio 5, Julie A. Hanks, MSW, LCSW, BCD; Founder & Clinical Director, Wasatch Family Therapy shares her tips for dealing with disappointment in a family member.

First, allow yourself to feel your feelings. Pretending everything is ok will not help you cope with disappointment. Anger, fear and sadness are all legitimate feelings. Admitting to them and allowing yourself to work through them will help you make room for positive emotions to follow.

Second, seek support. It is easy to feel isolated and alone when you are disappointed. You are sure no one else is in the same boat. Perhaps you are ashamed that your family is experiencing this type of difficulty. Disappointment is a common human emotion. Talking about it will help you to acknowledge your grief and process your feelings. Knowing your are not alone in this struggle can help bring about resolution.

Next, refrain from rescuing your loved one.  Experiencing consequences will facilitate  the development of maturity, responsibility, self-awareness, and empathy for others.

Finally, learn to live your own life! Fear and anxiety can feel consuming when your loved one goes through difficult times. While they are suffering you may put your own life on hold, but this will be a determent to both you and your loved one. Taking care of yourself, helps you to  nurture the physical and emotional resources you'll need to continue loving and supporting your struggling loved one. 

Sometimes, the only thing you can do for both their well being, and yours is to let them know how much you love them and that you will be there to support them when they are ready to accept your help...and then step away...let them stumble and grow. Given time and support they will hopefully mature into a responsible loving person of whom you will be very proud!

Be Well!