Dust Yourself Off and Start All Over Again!

It's hard to keep your optimism up when it seems everyone is raining on your parade...and when the down side of life is due to someone you love turning out not to be the person you thought they were, well that can be particularly devastating. 

Although it was some time ago, and I am mostly healed from the painful betrayal of a long time life partner, sometimes when the path ahead is dark, those feelings of worthlessness and humiliation still bubble to the surface.  When that happens I return to the practices that helped me through the initial emotional pain, and every time I seem to be just a little stronger and recovery is just a little faster.

• Remind yourself of the beautiful person you are, inside and out! Look your best, challenge your mind, engage with the people around you! 

•  Provide service to those around you. Besides the good feeling you get from helping others, you will realize that you are not alone in sorrow or sadness. Life deals ups and downs to everyone! Taking your mind off your own problems and helping other people with theirs is a sure way to move from inward focusing to outward focusing.

• Acknowledge that your anger is a real legitimate feeling and then deal with it appropriately...take up kickboxing, hit some golf balls at the driving range, exhaust yourself physically to get the anger out!!

• Acknowledge that emotional pain is just as real as physical pain and takes time to heal. Look to your friends and family or professionals to help and support you but realize that you have everything you need inside you for your own salvation.

• Write your thoughts down and file them away. The practice of getting your feelings out of your head and then physically putting them somewhere else is more than a metaphor. You can retrain your brain to stop processing those negative thoughts over and over again! I have ritualized this even further by writing down those nagging negative thoughts on post it notes and setting them aflame leaving nothing but the ashes...you may be smiling at the thought, but for me, it works!

• Eat well and exercise! Physical well being and mental well being are two sides of the same coin. Plus the endomorphines your body releases while exercising will increase your feeling of well being along with helping your body burn stored fat! Talk about win-win!

• Lastly, have no regrets! Everything that has happened to you, every decision you have made, good or bad, has shaped you into the person you are today...Don't waste energy looking back and wishing you had done things differently. Take what lessons you can find from past hurts, mistakes  and disappointments, then move forward; smarter, stronger and more resilient. The ups and downs of life will continue, how you will address them will determine your ultimate happiness.