Is It Ever OK to Break a Promise?

You've made an agreement, you've promised something that's moral, legal, reasonable and ethical. But now, your situation is different....but the promise remains. Is it ok to walk away from the promise because circumstances have changed? Is it ever justified to say, "Things have changed and I don't want to honor my commitment anymore." ?

The Lennon Wall - Prague

Many of us have likely made youthful declarations of love that we didn't honor, or childhood promises to be best friends forever. Maybe we promised to call an old friend we ran into on the street and never did or promised to pick up the check at our next outing and then forgot. These hardly count as defects in our moral character...but are they right? When breaking a promise, are there degrees that makes it all right? What defines the line that stepped over, deems a broken promise unacceptable.

While it's true there are few absolutes when dealing with questions of ethics, there are some factors that everyone should consider before making a promise.

If I break this promise, will someone get hurt emotionally, physically or financially?

If I make a promise that will require a long term commitment, am I prepared to honor it, throughout my life even if my circumstances change?

What will happen if I break this promise? Will I lose a job, a relationship, a marriage or a friendship?

If I make this promise and don't keep it, how will that affect my life, my reputation, my finances?

While it's true that breaking a promise to meet for coffee will not have the same ramifications as breaking a promise to repay a debt, the underlying responsibility is the same. Does a broken promise, even a small one, diminish our trustworthiness? Does breaking little promises make it easier to break the bigger ones? Perhaps...

Consider all the outcomes before you make a promise. It is better to not make a commitment than to break one made in haste. A Hebrew proverb says, "Promise little, but deliver much!" Good advice.

Be Well!